this is real, this is me.

why?
why the jungle now?
all the darkness
along with the claws.
mm..
i'm trying so hard to
overcome this and...
nvm.
i shouldn't continue anymore.
hmm..
saddened.

*ifonlyyouwerethere.

whowilldrawmerainbows..

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

10:38 AM

Guess what...
i just found out an awesome and amazing
method of doing multiplication sum for maths.
(http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=cc2559cf688df2a77342796fbfd34466.1661607&cache=1)
lets do some maths then.
whheee.. =))
.

.........

.
i just realised the numbers i used, 12 and 23..
luan ting. are you honoured?
hehehs..
maybe i should use 10, 15 huh.
anyway. i think you'll faint if a larger
number like 99 x 99 or etc is to be applied.
so in conclusion..
be thankful that you have a calculator which
is just a button away before you get your ans..
.
okays.
lets move on to another maths lesson
which my sister just taught me.. =p
.
this is interesting.
you can get 14 when you divide 25 by 5 too.
how so?
well, lets see:
.
................

.
and inversely, you can get 25 when you
multiple 14 by 5:
.
................

.
hmmm...
do you have any idea how you can get 25
when you sum up five 14s like this:
.
................

.
all you have to do is add up the five 4s to get
20, follow by the addition of the five 1s..
taa daa...
there you are, you'll get 25..
hahahss.
remarkable huh..
but..
this is only applicable to the number 25.
.
.
alright..
thats all for the day..
gonna mug for the killer paper on friday..

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

10:15 PM

lets just take another break to update my blog
as well as to put aside all the vitamins, minerals
and etc thats almost driving me nuts.

had such weird dreams for the past few days.
soo bizarre that i feel something is not right.
maybe i shldn't cogitate about it that much.
its just plainly due to the pressure cause
by the exams then.
hmmm...

i can't wait for the liberation in another 11 days.
and i'm looking forward to the trip to ikea with someone.
okays enough of this.
dumb dumb must study hard now
though i'm bit of tired. and i feel like giving up again.
alright. hang on for just that bit more. no i shld discard that thought. =x

*all i need now is a trigger.to motivate me..

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

10:43 PM

Sometimes my best is not enough, but its okay.
Because...

WITH PERSEVERANCE WE STRIVE!!!!
lets hope i can really study hard for this upcoming exams. =)

for all the twisted games we play,
she wonders if anything could ever be this good again.

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

11:11 PM

Each and every piece of jigsaw puzzle
in life tells a different story.

In a world of darkness,
shadows can play tricks on you
and things aren't always what
they seem to be...

Who will be the reason for my song in my life then?
TE AMO

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

11:44 PM

.
all i wanna do is make sure
no one stop chasing my rainbows away.
.
.
yes.
dumb people do dumb test like this.
but well, they seem to be pretty accurate. =x
(http://www.quizbox.com)
.
.
The Real You
Here is the analysis:
.
You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to
know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your
intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.
.
You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues
that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others
makes many people want to be your friend.
.
You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate,
and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your
pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people's eyes are likely to be drawn
to you because of your charm.
.
Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little
irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that
you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could
start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light.
You do want to be taken seriously, right?
.
.
Get to know yourself better
Here is the analysis:
.
Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like
conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you
and like to talk to you.
.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover,
so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive
person in many people's eyes.
.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you
will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
.
The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with
people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and
beautifully in love.
.
Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
.
The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't
focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be
happy and achieve success.
.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in
case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
.
What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you
try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are,
not what you wear.
.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments
on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when
trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
.
.
What's your personality love style?
Here is the analysis:
.
You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type
of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before
deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on
someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life
before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations,
you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could
be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high.
.
.
Your Hidden Talent
Here is the analysis:
.
The Artist: You love freedom and want to follow your heart's desires. You might not be
at your best when dealing with other people. Once you are given the opportunity to
work your chosen way, your gift will shine. A tip for you is not to concentrate too much
on your own work, but widen your focus and consider the opinions of other people.
.
.
The House
Here is the analysis:

Your house tells the world that you ought to be a leader. You are a freedom lover and
a strong person. You are shy and reserved. If you've drawn a cross on each of windows,
you always want to live alone. Once you have a problem, you need a friend with you.
Your life is always full of changes. When it comes to love, you shut yourself off. It's
difficult to win your heart because you have decided to keep your feelings deep inside.
You always have plans on your mind. This might cause a lot of stress if things don't go
the way you expect. You have a strong personality and you like to command, influence
and control people. You added a flower into your drawing. The flower signifies that you
long for love. We also see that you are sensuous, sexual, and privately passionate.
You don't think much about yourself.
.
.

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

12:15 PM

oh well

jy cldn't clash my lsn today

nvm then

i shall arrange another day when school reopens.

.
.

'hey dumb dumb, i want gum gum'

watched night at the museum today

and i must say it was truly deserving of at least the

4.0 stars because its simply so hilarious.

the movie just came in time to lighten up my mood.

maybe i should get more gum gum to ease off

the dumbness in me.

i want gum gum~

in addition, today was pretty a fruitful day.
i bought the stuffs i want.

and guess what.

i found a great place yesterday that can trigger my

mind into the urge of doing something of my interest.

i love that place..

i'm gonna make it offically a definite must-go shop.

it will probably never fail to get me in a good spirit mood.

art simply spices up my life.

_______________________________________________________________________________

Life is full of variables

and you never know what's gonna happen

the conversation with this 'mysterious' person ytd

affected me totally, along with his words that carry

threat and tinge of anger.

i know he's just trying to be protective

but have this person ever think in my shoe

you have no idea what to do much less to say for me.

i don't know.

i'm once again shaken.

i'm moving on now

and trying my very best

to take things easily as and when it is.

maybe i shldn't pin too much hope then.

afterall, once something is ceased, its meaningless

to cling on to it anymore.

hmmm.

do i really have to make this decision such that

it will satisfy and complete the so called

'beautiful ending' which they expected

or should i leave it to fate?

this isn't the ending i want

but i'll give in if it means to gratify them

along with the fact that i have nowhere to run

and i'm thoroughly dried up.

perhaps without my existence, everything will be fine then.

i have this random thought of not coming back after the trip to australia, hoping something

bad will happen to me there and i just wish that someone will do me a favour by killing me. =x

it hurts

it really hurts.

where's my rainbow?

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

11:07 PM

mm.

one more test to go

and that shall mark the last

quiz for this semester.

whhhee...

alright.

lets not get too exalted then.

there's still exams coming up.

on a lighter note.

i'm going australia for my ITP.

a thousand and one thoughts on my mind

and a hodgepodge of mixed feelings.

ok. thats enough.

i'm gonna mug for this last quiz
and awaits the outing tmrw with wei wei. =))

*No smile is as beautiful as the one that struggled through tears. i miss him.

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

6:57 PM

i'm sad.
i'm tired.
why do i only have the share of envious.
i just wanna be normal.
can i?

exams are just round the corner.
and i'm ain't in the bit of mood to study
i've lost it all,
the motivation and hope that someone used to give me.
the one who never fails to bring laughter to me.
can i give up now?
i'm really tired.
i just wanna quit this game, called life,
that i'm playing right now.

* life is so not going well for me,
i think im such a failure.
i cldn't take it anymore
because no one understands. =((

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

5:02 PM

holidays are soon gonna be over
and school's reopening next monday.
i'm not complaining though
but there's still loads of undone stuffs,
procrastination and late nights.
this holiday hasn't been treating me well,
but i guessed i asked for it.

hmmm.
recently its been a mishmash of random
and mixed emotions, and i really.. don't know.
its the choking feeling i get everytime i think of it
and that reminds me i'm not okay...

time goes by so slowly for those who wait
no time to hesitate
those who run seem to have all the fun
i'm caught up, i don't know what to do

i'm still delirious and braving through
the rain for the past consecutive days
ain't gonna be good to me. =x
hope i'll recover real soon.
my mind seemed to evoke my childhood memories
at the sight of the primary kids that i saw yesterday.
how innocent and ingenuous those kids are
and thats how we once looked like too.
but everyone seems to change as they grow.
was it the environment that changes them
or was it that they change to suit the environment?
i have no idea.
the world is getting more and more complicated
and you never know whats really behind the smile.
so much so that i hope i can still remain as a kid
who doesn't have to worry or mull over anything.
I tried my best to show you in whatever ways I could, but I just couldn't tell you the things that I've been meaning to say.
I wasn't strong enough and beneath all these brave fronts, its just a really strong and intense urge to want to care.
Its okay though, I know i wouldn't have the chance too. So I hope someone good will come along soon,
someone who'll make you happy, and you'll let her care.
somewhere over the rainbow way up high
there's a land that i heard of once in a lullaby
somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue
and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true
someday i wish upon a star
and wake up where the clouds are far behind me
where troubles smelled like lemon drops
way above the chimney tops
that's where you'll find me
somewhere over the rainbow blue birds fly
birds fly over the rainbow
why then, oh why can't i?
somewhere over the rainbow blue birds fly
birds fly over the rainbow
why then, oh why can't i?
if happy little blue birds fly beyong the rainbow
why, oh why can't i ?

_____________________________________________________________________________

i have this strong urge of saying that i miss my secondary school life and definitely my friends as well. =)

_____________________________________________________________________________

if only things remain the same as before. . .

*everything comes from everything, everything becomes everything, everything ends in everything.

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

10:10 AM