this is real, this is me.

monday was well spent with best friend at sentosa.
yes. a splendid day indeed though we were bit of lost
at times. but, we still managed to make our way to the

destinated stop with our sense of direction.

and surprising, sentosa can be such an unexpectedly

fun place to go. i'll try a ride on carlsberg sky tower

when i'm back and definitely to explore those yet-to-be

found attractive lookouts. this is queer, we took lots of photos

along the way back at the sentosa flowers 2007, rthymes in bloom.

anyway its an enjoyable day and i simply love gg out with best friend,

she's my sunshine.. =))

______________________________________________________________________________

i did catch the norbit movie ytd.

the movie was funny but
its quite weird that part of the movie
are kind of speaking to me.
hmm..
i don't know.
sighs.
anyway.
the TMNT movie will be out soon.
guess we'll be able to catch it only when
all of us are back.
______________________________________________________________________________

on another note.

i'll be leaving tomorrow.

in just less than 24 hours more.

i'm kind of scared.

a thousand and one questions

on my mind..

nonetheless, i'd hope everything

will goes well over there.

of course, i'll miss my family, my friends

and you..

alright. i shld end here and con't with

my packing.

till then. i'll be back to update soon.

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

4:26 PM

.
My steps along this street

resound
........................in another street

in which
...................... I hear my steps

passing along this street

in which

Only the mist is real

Because understanding does nothing.

At least at the end of the day, I

've learnt not to read too much into things.

Perhaps at one point of time,

we've all felt the same way.

But it doesn't mean anything now does it,

when we have already chosen to react to it in such different ways..

whats the point of going round

when its a straight line

a straight, straight line.

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

4:54 PM

15 Feb:

Its been quite a while since my last time here, and sad to say, nothing very interesting has happened but its been a busy week and this is how I like it. I simply love doing the things that i've been doing all while. Nothing much though except rotting, shopping and playing. its good to take a break now such that i can better carry on the endless journey in life in the latter.

and this is silly. i'm trapping myself in games that i don't think

i'm up for, i'm trapping myself in a situation which i know i'll

eventually only have myself to blame. this looks like

everything bad put together, and enough to make a lousy start ahead.

________________________________________________________________________________
.
17 Feb

what do you do when you're stuck in a lose-lose situation.

you feel like crumbling and be the one everybody rushes

to comfort but no, you have to be the one who is rational,

the one comforting someone else, the one who is having

such a hard time but no one knows. its like a dull throbbing

headache which refuses to leave, it makes you feel fed up

and all but, you can't do anything you just stop whining

and get on with life. you just need someone to accept the

helpless situation, even if you can't understand. cause theres

pretty much nothing that you can do, it is just the way it is.

don't try to change it you know you won't succeed. we know

we won't succeed. so just stop whining and accept it. all you

want is someone to accept. but you get none.

.
.
anyhow, i'll challenge that pressure once again and cross over that barrier of mine. failure isn't that scary after all, it will be if i gave up on myself. yes. he was right. its more than two years, way too long enough to be scarred by the past and i should get over it. but to be true, i was more than afraid to face up that pressure and disappointed myself and them again, so i choose to run away. but how much longer can i sidestep this. i don't have much time left to regret. and i don't wish to repentant what i've not done in future. i'll put aside that and move on and i don't believe that all these are fated. i will do anything to prove that i can change my fate, play against all obstacles and carry on despite how tough my journey is. but i do need to pick up confidence and some motivation. That'll do. I'm gonna be strong. Besides, i still have those yet to be accomplished dreams.

and i do feel ashamed of myself for not being a good sister. she must be very disappointed in me, but don't worry, i'll find back myself and be that good sister and your role model of yours all over again. of course, i will prove them wrong. so, i'll be good from now on...
________________________________________________________________________________

20 Feb

its cny and i don't seem to enjoy myself much in

this festival. as year goes by, cny appears to be and

getting meaningless. but it was rather fun this year

as compared to the past. those gathering and playing

about with my little cousins just hark back those

childhood memories of mine. its soo fun to be kids.

needless to worry about anything at all except playing

hard. and sunday just highlight the emptiness without

that person whom i'll play msn game with, chit-chat

and crapping about. well, i'll just have to bear that bit

more before this person come back.

on another note:

1. lt and sj will be leaving tmrw and soon it'll be my turn.

it'll be a whopping two months' time long before i get to

see them again. Bon voyage to them.
2. i'm looking forward gg sentosa with jy soon.. =))

3. i wanna watch that 'Norbit" movie before i leave.

4. he won't be able to send me off. =x

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

3:12 PM

the exams are finally over but i'm not at

the least happy at all except relieved.

as usual, my thinking cell are active again.

i'm simply doing nothing except thinking

soreness is what i get just when i thought

i'm slowly finding the meaning of my life all

this while only to know that, well, I'm actually not.

in fact, i'm submerging into a deeper hole

and i've lost the way i am.

who exactly am i?

i don't know.

i'm so completely and hopelessly lost.

i cant see the rainbow ahead of me.

i have lost count of the things that

i wanted to do all along.

i really don't know what i want exactly.

i'm nothing except a failure.

a failure in everything.

so much so that, i wanna let go of eveything

and find back the real me.

its gonna be tough.

but, thats the only thing i'll to do now.

i'd hope you'll be there to guide me, but i doubt so we are drifting apart from each other each day.

and we have totally lost the way we used to be, dont we? maybe, maybe this will be good.

at least you have your friends now and you seem happy. afterall, i've disappointed you all the while.

perhaps, i shldn't hold you back anymore.

the afterthought to what mum told me previously

she was right to a certain point.

but it hurts when someone who is close to you

don't really understand you.

but i guess i was wrong in certain way too.

strangely speaking, i've no idea whats

the reason for the emotional me these few days.

it could be the tv shows and the songs which

set me thinking then.

alright. there's something which i have to do

seriously now is to be happy.

nothing beats better than that and i guess

i shldn't think so much anymore.

too much thinking is bad for health.

i shall let nature take its course..

we're not all tempted by the same things.

what one person finds wonderful will be looked

at with distaste by someone else.

'I don't know where we are going now'

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

12:25 PM

maybe
maybe i shld learn
how to let go at times.
whatever will be, will be.

and perhaps, maybe
everything happens for a reason.

Someone I'll always laugh with
Even in my worst I'm best with you
those flurry lights, but we've lost them all haven't we.

*so near yet so far...

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

10:59 PM

what a bad day... =(

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing

6:04 PM