Its been quite a while since my last time here, and sad to say, nothing very interesting has happened but its been a busy week and this is how I like it. I simply love doing the things that i've been doing all while. Nothing much though except rotting, shopping and playing. its good to take a break now such that i can better carry on the endless journey in life in the latter.and this is silly. i'm trapping myself in games that i don't think
i'm up for, i'm trapping myself in a situation which i know i'll
eventually only have myself to blame. this looks like
everything bad put together, and enough to make a lousy start ahead.
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17 Feb
what do you do when you're stuck in a lose-lose situation. you feel like crumbling and be the one everybody rushes
to comfort but no, you have to be the one who is rational,
the one comforting someone else, the one who is having
such a hard time but no one knows. its like a dull throbbing
headache which refuses to leave, it makes you feel fed up
and all but, you can't do anything you just stop whining
and get on with life. you just need someone to accept the
helpless situation, even if you can't understand. cause theres
pretty much nothing that you can do, it is just the way it is.
don't try to change it you know you won't succeed. we know
we won't succeed. so just stop whining and accept it. all you
want is someone to accept. but you get none.
.
.
anyhow, i'll challenge that pressure once again and cross over that barrier of mine. failure isn't that scary after all, it will be if i gave up on myself. yes. he was right. its more than two years, way too long enough to be scarred by the past and i should get over it. but to be true, i was more than afraid to face up that pressure and disappointed myself and them again, so i choose to run away. but how much longer can i sidestep this. i don't have much time left to regret. and i don't wish to repentant what i've not done in future. i'll put aside that and move on and i don't believe that all these are fated. i will do anything to prove that i can change my fate, play against all obstacles and carry on despite how tough my journey is. but i do need to pick up confidence and some motivation. That'll do. I'm gonna be strong. Besides, i still have those yet to be accomplished dreams.
and i do feel ashamed of myself for not being a good sister. she must be very disappointed in me, but don't worry, i'll find back myself and be that good sister and your role model of yours all over again. of course, i will prove them wrong. so, i'll be good from now on...
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20 Feb
.
its cny and i don't seem to enjoy myself much in 
this festival. as year goes by, cny appears to be and
getting meaningless. but it was rather fun this year
as compared to the past. those gathering and playing
about with my little cousins just hark back those
childhood memories of mine. its soo fun to be kids.
needless to worry about anything at all except playing
hard. and sunday just highlight the emptiness without
that person whom i'll play msn game with, chit-chat
and crapping about. well, i'll just have to bear that bit
more before this person come back.
.
on another note:
1. lt and sj will be leaving tmrw and soon it'll be my turn.
it'll be a whopping two months' time long before i get to
see them again. Bon voyage to them.
2. i'm looking forward gg sentosa with jy soon.. =))
2. i'm looking forward gg sentosa with jy soon.. =))
3. i wanna watch that 'Norbit" movie before i leave.
4. he won't be able to send me off. =x
3:12 PM
